Pac Man Rules You

*Note: This is a post I wrote a few months ago on Xanga. IT's worth reading, printing and posting on you fridge.

Many people ask me about my game ideas. I have a few good ones, and the few I shared I always get a positive response. But all that aside, how come the greatest game ever played has a very lame story line.

Pac Man

This guy is hungry, and for some reason he is in a labyrinth of tunnels that he will eat himself out of just to go trough it all over again, and again and again. Someone once asked me if Pac Man is actually beatable.

Yes.

There are 256 levels and the last one is half invisible, actually it is only code on one half… as shown here.

One man has been known to have beaten the game without dying once and  was the first person to achieve the maximum possible score. His name is Billy Mitchell. 

This mutha trucka kicked those four ghosts asses all over them tunnels back in 99. He had a referee and everything. But enough about this "Demi Gamer-God". Lets talk about me.

I hate this game. I love it, but I could never ever beat it. I beat TMNT on nes and that was what I considered impossible. 256 insane levels of pain? Fuck that. I have a major beef with this game, and it all starts with a ghost named Pinky.

<== Pinky For some reason God smiled upon this bastard ghost and gave it the skill of speed. I hate this ghost more than any sprite in the history of sprites. If I ever met this crack head ghost I would resurrect it only to kill it over and over. I hope his original death was a very painful one. Much like the Buffalo Bills in Techmo Super Bowl, pink is the color of anger. You see pink is a girly color. No offence but if someone loses to something pink it is like a huge insult to your manhood. Pinky is an abomination to manhood world wide. And then there is the asshole ghost Blinky.

<== Blinky 

So what makes Blinky and asshole? Blinky is the first one out of the house, in fact I daresay that Blinky is the ghost that is not house trained. I mostly just hate this ghost because it is a ghost. 

<== Inky You ever get surrounded by a bunch of bad guys and decide to go across the area and regroup. That’s all fine and good but this bitch ghost likes to stay on the opposite side of the action in hopes of you to attempt to escape his three homies. He is the reason I camp today…because I can.

<== Ringo Star.

Clyde.
First off he doesn’t fit the rhyme scheme. So that makes me believe he is actually running the whole shindig. He also is the color of Flintstone pops and so then when I try to aviate him I get hungry and pissed off. Clyde sucks. Who named this guy? Its like naming the boss Bill. It may have worked for Tarintino...well.

I can imagine a Pac Man movie directed by Tarintino. Imagine Pac Man dancing around a tied up Clyde to Stuck in the Middle with You pouring gasoline and slashing him with a knife. Oh yeah Clyde, the Ringo of ghosts, you will get yours.

AwwwwwwwwwwwSleep.

--
Charlie Frisby